why i don’t have a boyfriend.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” and “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

I am asked these questions way too often for my liking. Even this week I joked around that if I was asked these questions one more time, I would scream (I’m joking but still). But to put it simply, ‘No’ and ‘God hasn’t placed one in my life yet. It’s, simply, not my time.’

When I think about these questions, there are a few things that come to mind…

i am enough.

For the longest time, I thought that I didn’t have a boyfriend or get asked out on dates because I wasn’t worthy enough or because I wasn’t beautiful or skinny enough. I thought that I didn’t have it all together, so I needed to get it together. I thought, “What is wrong with me?” I thought I wasn’t good enough to be in a relationship. But what I’ve learned is that it’s all a lie from the devil. The reason I don’t have a boyfriend is because it’s not in God’s plan for my life in this season. It’s not because I’m not good enough or beautiful enough. It’s because it’s not in His timing.

The same goes for you. You might be in the same season as me…single. But I don’t want you to be discouraged when you’re asked these questions or when it seems like everyone around you is in a relationship. It’s not your timing. You are worthy to be in a relationship. You are beautiful enough. You don’t have to change just to get a guy. God does have your best interest at heart. He hasn’t forgotten about you. He knew your life before time began. So you better believe He is still writing that story out.

And if you ever start to doubt that, refer back to part of Psalm 139 (vs. 13-14)

For you created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

His works are wonderful. That’s YOU. You are His masterpiece. He cares and He loves. And He is working all things out. Just be patient (I’m preaching to the choir here LOL). He is in control.

i have to trust.

I’ve really been convicted, lately. The Lord has revealed to me that I am placing a limit on Him. I have put the power of God in a box, and I have limited His power to my human thinking. He’s showed me that I am lacking in my trust of him. I don’t have complete and total trust that He can bring me a husband, especially one to my standards. But that’s a lie from the devil too.

Psalm 8:3 says, “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place.”

If God can place the moon and stars into place with just the work of his fingers, He can sure bring me (and you) a husband. If you are called to marriage one day, He will place the right guy, in the right place, at the right time. You can bet on that.

don’t pity me.

To my friends in relationships. When you ask me questions like, “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” or “Do you have a boyfriend?” and my answer is ‘no,’ please don’t pity me.

It’s not a good feeling. You know why? It’s not all that bad being single, and it’s a gift God has given me. I don’t want to think anything else.

Marriage is a gift. Singleness is gift. One is not less than the other. Marriage has its challenges. Singleness has its challenges. One is not perfect over the other. Marriage can bring you joy. Singleness can bring you joy. One does not make you more joyful over the other.

So don’t feel sorry for me. I want to live in the truth that God has me single for a reason and that he can use me whether I am in a relationship or not.

And you know what? If God’s plan for my future doesn’t have marriage in store, He is still good and He is still sovereign. He is still my Father. He is still perfect.

God has a plan for you. God has a plan for me. God’s timing is perfect. Be sure of that.