reflections of a girl on mission.

to the weary.

To the weary.

To the broken hearted. To the ones that are going through trials that never seem to end. To the ones that are losing hope. To the ones that can’t see the light. To the ones that just don’t know what to do anymore.

I have goods news for you. Jesus knows EXACTLY what you’re going through. AND, He wants to carry your hurts and burdens for you. He wants to be there for you. That’s what He says in Matthew 11:28–“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

So why am I directing this to the weary ones right now you might ask?

Well first, no one is exempt from weariness. We all experience it at some point in our lives. Second, the past couple of weeks I have felt the weight of weariness on my shoulders. But while dealing with the weariness, the Lord has used this time to teach me.

Isn’t He good about doing that?—using the times of trial to bring you closer to Him and to teach you while you’re at it.

So what has He been teaching me?

#1. I’m in desperate need of a Savior. We are ALL in desperate need of a Savior. I’ve realized that I can’t do this alone. We aren’t meant to. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus invites us to come to Him. He says “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened.” So, why wouldn’t we? If the One who willingly died on the cross for you and for me is telling us to come to Him. Let’s do. Let’s take our hopelessness, our lack of faith, our failures, our trials, our broken hearts to Him as He gives us rest. Let’s trust and lean on our Savior.

#2. Jesus is my hope and light. In the midst of what seems to be darkness, we have a Hope who is rooting for us. His name is Jesus. He’s the light in our darkness. When it seems that we can’t go on—that it’s just too much to handle, there is one thing that is constant through it all—Jesus. Hebrews 6:19 says “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Let Jesus (our HOPE) be our anchor. Let Him hold us down and keep us secure during our seasons of weariness.

#3. Keep praying. It’s easy to get lost in the weariness. It’s easy to not put in the energy to pray and give it to the Lord (at least it is for me). And it’s easy to let Satan trample on top of you. There’s a song by 7eventh Time down, and some of the lyrics are “If you don’t know what to say, just say Jesus. There is power in the name.” The Lord has shown me, if I don’t have the strength or the words to say, just say His name—Jesus. There is tremendous power in His name! We will never be able to wrap our minds around the amount of power that lies in the name of Jesus. Our Father, has invited us into an intimate relationship with Him. He knows our hurts and pains. He knows exactly what we’re going through. So, lets get down on our hands and knees and pray to our Father. Let’s lay our weariness at the feet of the Creator of the universe—the One who has invited us into a relationship with Him! As hard as it may be, and the strength may be gone—let’s keep praying!

#4. I need to praise Him when it’s hard. If you’re like me, it’s simple to praise God when things are all fine and dandy in your life—when things are going the way you want! But it becomes a different story when you’re going through trials. It then becomes harder to praise Him. However, He’s shown me that I need to praise Him in the storm too. Though I’m going through a rougher patch, God is still good. He is still in control. He is still constant. His love is still never-ending. He is still my Father! He still knows what is best, and He is still my Hope. So, when you’re down, continue to praise Him! Allow Him to speak to your heart and to heal your heart as you praise Him.

#5. God is drawing me closer to Him. My plans have to be surrendered to Him. Things are out of my control. He is in charge. He has a plan for all the trials. So, I don’t have a choice but to lift my hands and let Him take control. It’s hard. It’s an everyday battle that I have to fight. I have to take it to the cross every single day. But as I lift my hands in surrender, He is pulling me closer to Him. I have to lean on Him. I have to trust in the King of Kings. There is no other way. I have to seek His face. And as I am seeking His face, I am falling more in love with my Father each and every day.

I don’t know what you’re going through, but my God does. He knows every doubt you have, every fear you have, and every tear that you cry. Cling to the Savior of the world in the seasons of weariness. Allow Him to be your hope and light. Keep praying even if all you can say is Jesus. Praise Him for being good, even if you’re feeling in the dumps. And, allow Him to draw you nearer to His side as He fights for you!

the absence of my grandpa.

That’s something that with each passing day becomes more real. Almost 7 months later, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone.

With each passing event that he’s not at, it sets in just a little bit more. He’s not here to support me or to cheer me on. He’s not here with his advice or his jokes. He’s not here telling me how much Jesus loves me, and he’s not here to take care of my grandma.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. Almost every day something happens that I wish I could tell him or reminds me of him. I want to hear more of his stories. I just want to hug him and tell him how much I love him and how much I look up to him. I want to tell him again and again that he is my hero and role model.

Though he’s gone, there are two things I know for sure. He’s up in heaven worshiping with our Heavenly Father. And second, he left a legacy.

If you didn’t know my grandpa, I wish you could have. I am honored and privileged to call Floyd Engel my grandfather. He loved Jesus more than anything in this world, and he wanted people to love Jesus above all else too. He knew who Jesus is. He knew that Jesus is the Son of God. He came to this earth to live a perfect life and that He died for you and for me. And He died to take our place on the cross—to redeem our sins. My grandpa wanted people to know that. He was one of the most God-fearing persons I have ever met. He knew his calling in this life, and knew that this life wasn’t for him, it was for Jesus.

Simply put, my grandpa was the most humble man I have ever met. Seriously. We have a lot to learn from this man. He never once boasted about his accomplishments. And let me tell you, he had many of them! He served in World War II, he volunteered with the fire department for 70 years, he worked for HL&P for 42 years, he overcame a couple different cancers, he had bypass surgery, he had shingles, and on and on and on. But never once did he complain or boast about what he had done. Instead, he gave the glory to Christ!

A few other words that come to my mind when I think of grandpa are obedient, dedicated, servant-hearted, compassionate, genuine, patient, and loving. I could make list after list of who my grandpa was. But those few words sum him up.

Reflecting on the passing of my grandpa has brought a question to mind. Am I living a life that will leave an impactful legacy?

What will people see once I go to be with my Father in Heaven? Will they see a life that reflects my Savior, Jesus Christ or will they see a life that reflects my sinful nature of being selfish, etc?

I learned many things from my grandpa, but on this side of his death, I’ve learned that I want to leave a legacy that reflects Jesus. I don’t know how long I have on this earth. So I need to make each day count. I need to be sold out to Christ each and every day. I need to do what I’ve been called to do—love and share the good news of Jesus Christ.

So, I have a question for you, what legacy will you leave behind?

eyes on the cross.

3 hours of a sleep and a sprained foot. That’s what I was dealing with when I hiked a mountain in Costa Rica last week.

We arrived in Costa Rica around 3 am, got to bed close to 4am, woke up a 6:30 am to hike a mountain. AND, 3 weeks ago I sprained my foot; it’s still swollen, and I’m supposed to be wearing a boot.

Sounds tough right?! And like it was a blast of fun right?! Well, it was! I had so much fun hiking, but it was probably one of the hardest hikes I’ve done. And to add, the Lord taught me something on this hike.

I probably should have started off telling you that the name of the hike was, The 3 Crosses Hike (I don’t know if that was the actual name of it), but that might have given away what the Lord taught me. As we were hiking, getting to the first cross wasn’t too bad. It was difficult but not bad.

[cross 1]

Getting to the 2^nd cross was a completely different story. As we started hiking to the second cross, I was pretty much left in the dust. Everyone was moving a lot faster than me, but I’m so thankful for Donald staying behind and hiking with me. When going to the second cross, my foot began to hurt (I could feel it and see it swelling up), I was starting to feel dizzy (I accidentally gave my water to someone that was way in front of me), my legs were pretty much jello, and getting to the second cross involved a little bit of climbing on the terrain.

As we were going, all I could think of was how tired I was and how I was never going to get there! The cross just seemed so far away. I never knew how much farther I had left. However, as I was hiking, I had to have faith that I was going to make it to that next cross. I had to keep my eyes on the cross.

[cross 2]

I was reminded that not just in the hiking but also in life, that no matter how hard life gets, keep your eyes on the cross. Keep your eyes on Jesus. He will get us through whatever comes our way. It might be hard. It might be the most difficult thing you’ve done. It might be uneasy and out of your comfort zone. It might involve growth and lessons that we might not necessarily want to learn, but we need to lean on Him. Keep our eyes on Him because He WILL get us through.

So just like I didn’t think I would make it to the cross (well I knew, it just didn’t seem like it), I know I’ll make it through what trials come my way whether I feel like it or not. All I need to remember in that time is Jesus. He is greater than anything that comes my way. He loves me so much to guide me through what comes my way. And He will never leave my side.

And the same is with you. He will never leave your side, and He is there with you in every situation.

All of this brings a verse to mind.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:2

Jesus is the AUTHOR and PERFECTER of our faith. How amazing is that? He has and is still writing our story. He is writing our faith journey. He is perfect. And He died on the cross for YOU and for ME. And not only did He die to forgive us of our sins. He had joy doing it. That’s so hard to wrap my head around sometimes, but He did. Jesus died having joy. Why wouldn’t we want to fix our eyes on Him? Let Jesus be the focus of all that we do and during the good times and the bad.

Let’s fix our eyes on the cross.

being like stephen.

Being Like Stephen.

Who’s Stephen you may ask? Stephen is this awesome guy in the Bible. Let me tell you about him. In Acts, he is described as a faithful man of God. He was “a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 6:5). He was chosen as 1 of 7 to help the apostles look after widows and help the poor. However, Stephen did more than that. He shared Jesus Christ wherever he went.

Not everyone liked this. Opposition came and Stephen was brought before the Sanhedrin, a council of Jewish religious leaders. He was accused of speaking against the Jewish holy place and against their law. The Sanhedrin asked Stephen if these accusations were true. So, Stephen responded. He responded in boldness about the history of Israel, and the wrong they had done. It wasn’t received well by the Jews.

Because of this, the religious leaders stoned Stephen. He became the first martyr—the first to die for Christ.

There’s a lot we can learn from Stephen. First, am I willing to die for my Savior? Stephen was. He knew his Savior and was willing to stand firm for Him, no matter the cost. He knew that this life was not about him but about Jesus. What about us? Are we willing to be persecuted for Jesus? Are we willing to die and stand up for Him?

Second, there is another piece of scripture that comes to mind when I think of Stephen. It’s Romans 10:14-15, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?”

Stephen understood that. He understood that people aren’t going to know Jesus unless we go out and talk about him. That’s what we are called to do, but are we doing it? Or are we getting so comfortable in our everyday life that we lose focus of what this life is actually about?

When is the last time you shared the Gospel with someone? Everywhere we go is a mission field—Starbucks, school, work, etc. We need to share Christ’s love everywhere we go. I don’t mean shove it down someone’s throat. I mean, build relationships, love people that are hard to love, and respond how Christ would respond.

Third, when we look at Stephen, we see a faithful man of God. How do people see us? Do people see us as a faithful woman or man of God? Or do they see someone who is angry all the time, someone who is bitter all the time, someone who is unfriendly, etc?

Let the light of Christ, shine through you. Let people see that in you. Yes, we are all human, and we all fail and aren’t perfect, but how do we react to certain things? Do we react in anger, bitterness, etc? We want people to see Christ in us—hands down.

The Lord has shown me a lot through Stephen and others in the Bible. The one common thread through them all is that they loved Jesus and lived boldly for Him. They were even willing to die for Jesus. So, let’s learn and pray to be more like Stephen.

stepping out of the box.

Stepping out of the box – getting out of your comfort zone!

That’s what this past week was all about. Not just for me, but for all the students. This past week I had the honor and privilege of being a sponsor/leader for the Kingsland Student Ministry mission trip to Arlington, Texas for about forty-eight 7^th graders. While in Arlington, we worked with Mission Arlington and did two Vacation Bible Schools a day, called the Rainbow Express.

This week we all stepped out of our box. Stepping out of your box is never easy, but in that, growth happens.

[my group with some of the kids to the left. the whole group to the right.]

Let me start with the students. Saying I am proud of them is an understatement. They came so far in the week. In my group (8 students plus my awesome partner Scott), my students started off pretty shy. They weren’t quite sure how to engage with the kids at VBS, and they were timid when it came to leading the Bible Study or sharing their testimonies. This was their first time to really own their leadership—they were having to step out of their box.

But as the week went on, they started to step out of the box more and more. They started to engage with the students more. They took more control of leading the stories, games, and so on. They even sat with students one on one and talked about Jesus with them. And what I love so much is the fact that they knew some of the kids so well, they bought them gifts for the last day. There was a huge transformation in my students.

Seeing 7^th grade students stepping out of their boxes, encouraged me to step out of mine. If they can do it, I can do it. If they can allow God to use them, I can allow God to use me. And that’s exactly what happened, God used them. He used them to bring glory to His name, to love on kids that come from a life that we can’t even begin to understand, and He used them to share His name. God is good, and He showed that through the students last week.

[our students working on a crafts with the kids to the left. our students praying with the kids to the right.]

How did I step out of my box? Well, the past 7 weeks of my internship have been out of my box.

I picked up what I knew and went to a place where I didn’t know anybody. I left the community I had at Houston Baptist University, and I left my community I had at Houston’s First Baptist Church. I am having to start over in a place where I knew maybe 1 person (and didn’t know that well). I am stepping out of my box to start over. I am stepping out of my box by praying for and learning to build a new community. I am stepping out of my box to meet people in a place where I didn’t know anyone. And this past week, I stepped out of my box to help sponsor/lead a trip where I didn’t know more than two or three students starting off and where I didn’t know but maybe two of the sponsors.

I had to jump all in—I had no other choice. And to be honest, I wanted to let my introverted side come out. My introverted side struck fear in me, but over the past several weeks and this past week, I had to let the Lord guide me through my introverted tendencies.

By stepping out of my box, the Lord taught me and grew me this week. He built up a community through the sponsors this past week. He allowed me to connect to some of the students. He allowed me to work through my introverted tendencies this week. And He allowed me to see Him at work.

Amazing things can happen when you step out of your box. The Lord will grow you, hands down. It’s hard to step out. It’s not easy by any means, but you have to trust. You have to have faith. Have trust and faith in the One who can guide us through, the One who is in control and can speak through us, and the One that is a hope and light.

When is the last time you stepped out of your box? If you fear stepping out, pray and cling on to our One True Savior. He has you in the palm of His hand. There is no need to fear. Let growth take place, and let God take you on a journey that you never thought was possible.

[2 of my students to the left. and my precious new friend on the right.]

the nations are here.

The nations are here!

That’s something that my new friend Margie understands more than anyone I know. This week I have gotten the privilege and honor of working beside her and getting to know her heart for the nations, right here in Houston. She has started a ministry out of St. Cloud Apartment Complex.

In this one apartment complex, there are 26 nations represented. TWENTY-SIX…in this ONE apartment complex. Let that sink in.

Here, many of these families are refugees from their home country. Some can speak English, some speak broken English, some not at all, and most of them can hardly afford to keep food on the table. Margie felt the call to start ministering to the people here, and that’s exactly what she is doing. The heart she has is huge. It’s incredible. We have a lot to learn from this woman.

[Margie and the KSM students]

This week I had the opportunity to partner up with Margie and the Kingsland Student Ministry and to serve the kids at this apartment complex. We were able to love on these kids by having lunch with them, watching a movie, playing games, making crafts, and building relationships.

My heart broke for these kids this week. Some of the stories I have heard about where some of these kids have come from and the joy that these kids show in their face, sometimes don’t add up to me. It’s made me reflect on the way I am living my life. I’ve asked myself, “if I have gone through what some of these kids have, would I still have joy?” I can’t say for sure, but I can tell you that these kids have it. They have joy.

The Lord has really convicted me this week. If you know me, you know my heart for international missions. You know that I have a heart to serve people groups overseas and to love on them. However, this week the Lord has really gotten a hold of me. He’s shown me that yes, I have a heart for overseas missions, but am I also serving the nations that are right here in my backyard? Do I love on the people around me the same way I would love on someone overseas? What am I doing with the nations right in my backyard? Not only serving the nations here, am I serving my friends and family the same way? The kids have really opened my eyes this week and have allowed me to reflect on the way I am living my life. I can’t wait to continue to work with these kids and with Margie. And I can’t wait to work with the nations here.

[Some of the kids dancing & singing]

a girl on mission.

I am now entering the blogging world. I was never one to think that I would be writing a blog. Why start now you might ask? Well, let me tell you. I am a girl on mission. My mission in life is to serve my Lord, Jesus Christ and to be obedient to His will. For quite some time, I have thought about writing a blog but brushed it off. Within the last week, He has affirmed in me the need to start one. So, that is what I am doing. I am being obedient to my Savior. Matthew 28:19 says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…” That is exactly what I want my life to be about. Well, it’s not really my life. It’s God’s life, and He is using it to bring glory to His name. My mission is to do exactly what the Lord has commanded, to “go and make disciples of all nations.”

Why “reflections of a girl on mission”? There are a few reasons behind my blog title. First, and the most important, is exactly what I just shared with you all. My MISSION is to serve my God and to make disciples. While blogging, I will be reflecting on my mission to serve Him and to be obedient to His calling.

Second, I’m on a yearlong journey serving as a MISSIONS ministry intern at Kingsland Baptist Church in Katy, Texas. In fact, today marks a month serving with them. In this past month, the Lord has already shown me more about His goodness and faithfulness than I could ever imagine. He’s shown me that He loves me, even when things seem to be chaotic, and He’s teaching me to just trust. He’s also showing me what it is to just be still in knowing that He is Lord. He has already taught more than I can think of, in just one month. To think what He can teach me in the next 11 months is unfathomable. While blogging, I will be reflecting on my mission to serve God through being a missions ministry intern.

Last but not least, I am a girl who’s passion is MISSIONS. Serving others internationally and domestically fuels me. I love learning about other cultures and being able to serve them. This passion started many years ago at youth camp, and the Lord has cultivated that more and more over the years. The Lord has given me several opportunities to serve internationally in places like Chile, Guatemala, Haiti, Jamaica, and Kenya. With each of these trips, my love for other cultures, countries, and people groups has grown. My passion for missions has been ignited even more. My love has grown so much in fact, that at times I feel that I’m not meant for the USA; maybe I am meant to serve and live overseas, but who knows what the Lord has in store for me. All I know is that there are people all over the world, including people in my own backyard, that don’t know the love of Jesus Christ, and my goal is to share that with them. My goal is to show them that there is a Hope in the midst of whatever trials they may be going through. There is someone that loves them so much that He died on the cross for them. That, y’all, is my goal. With that, I will be reflecting on my mission to share Christ with people all over the world.

So this whole blog thing is going to be a journey within a journey. It’s a journey the Lord has called me to, and it’s going to be able to show you the journey He has me on and the work He is doing. More than my imperfect self, I want y’all to see how amazing the God I serve is and how wonderful and perfect He is.